Figuring It Out As I Go…

{February 9, 2008}   Dear Uncle Bill

I hope you know that I haven’t abandoned you. I realize that you’re probably keeping an eye on things, so you probably know all about my surgery, but I feel bad that I haven’t been out to see you. If I thought I could make it out there with my walker, or even wheelchair, I would have been out there already, but I really don’t think I’d make it through the rough terrain out there. I mean, I realize that it’s not the amazon or anything, but we’re talking about the girl that got herself into this mess in the first place, the same girl that fell on her crutches a few days after surgery. I feel like we shouldn’t push my limits!
I’ve found that when I don’t come see you, I miss you even more…I guess I really do need our weekly talks! More than anything though, it breaks my heart when I think about you out there all alone. Yes, I know, technically you’re surrounded by people, and knowing you, you’ve already made more friends than I can count, but it’s not the same, and in my mind, you’re alone without your family.
I guess what started this whole mess was I heard your song. You know, that one I told you about by the Dixie Chicks. Of course, I started crying, but I listened to the whole song this time, something I haven’t been able to do since you died.
I hope you know how much I love you and miss you…sometimes it seems like yesterday still that I got the call, and sometimes it seems like it was a lifetime ago. Those are the times I find myself grasping at my memories, afraid I’ll forget something about you, the way you smelled, your voice, your laugh; those are things I never want to forget about you, things I want to always hold on to!
Supposedly I’ll have this cast off in 3 weeks, then I’ll come see you. 6 weeks is the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing you! I’ll try not to let it happen again!

I love you Uncle Bill.


barnmouse says:

I am so sorry that you feel so bad. Your uncle wouldn’t want you to feel bad that you can’t go see him yet. He knows you’ll be there when you can. And you know he wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself by trying to do too much too soon (tripping over your crutches? were we separated at birth?! Hee.). Just take care of yourself, you know your uncle wants you to! 🙂 “Heel” quickly! (get it? tee hee)

tommiea says:

So sorry you miss him……Hopefully you can get out to see him soon

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